Alzheimer's Daughter

The Story

Alzheimer’s Daughter introduces the reader to my healthy parents, Ed and Ibby, years before their diagnosis, then recounts painful details as our roles reversed and I became my parents’ parent.


Their disease started as translucent, confused thoughts and ended in a locked memory care unit after a near decade of descent into the opaque world of Alzheimer's.

I began writing Alzheimer’s Daughter one week after my mother's death––when I was stunned, realizing Dad had no memory of her or their 66-year marriage.

I write to pay tribute to the undying spirit at Ed and Ibby's core, and with the hope that the story of their parallel decline might be helpful to others.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Meet Sarah Bearden Smith, author of "Broken Beauty."

Reposted with permission from AlzAuthors.com

By Sarah Bearden Smith

Writing a book was never a dream of mine. A stay-at-home mom driving an SUV, aka “shuttle bus,” I carpool kids to and from school, soccer, flag football, lacrosse, basketball practices, games, and tournaments. As I became a caregiver to Mom, God began drawing me closer and closer to Him through my pain and sorrow.

Broken Beauty is the story of my mother—known as “Beauty” to our family— and our family’s journey through the devastating world of early-onset Alzheimer’s. I was a young mother in my thirties when my mother’s illness struck, and our family’s shock and pain at the disease’s manifestations has been nearly unbearable. At the time of her diagnosis, Beauty was still young and fit and my best friend. It’s a powerful and personal story about a daughter facing the unthinkable and the love I found to carry her through.

It’s my hope through our story that readers will feel the power of love. No matter the disease, struggle, or difficult circumstance, you are loved and can get through anything with God. My story is not so much about losing the mother I knew, as it is an honest story of a family who has chosen life, not death, and who celebrates victory over tragedy. I show complete vulnerability and give readers who may be facing similar situations important insights into the lives of family, friends, and caregivers; memory care facilities; emotional and mental suffering; and heartbreak. But above all, it’s a story of searching for and finding hope in the storm, and finding forgiveness, restoration, and reconciliation in the process.

Also, for anyone going through early-onset Alzheimer’s, I hope they feel that this book gives them an authentic glimpse into the power of the disease and what is to come, and that no matter what they may tell themselves, they are not alone and there is no shame or guilt for any of the feelings they feel. It’s normal, and it’s okay. I want people to know there is purpose through pain, and I hope our journey opens every reader’s eyes to a unique kind of love. It is a love that is everywhere within the pages of this book and within the walls where Beauty resides.

And as for me, I don’t want to live with any regrets. I will continue to look into her heart, and eyes, and facial expressions, and will do my best to co-labor with God in her new world each day, being grateful that He is allowing me to shine light during this strenuous and laborious time. Mom is a human being with a name, and although this disease is a mystery and I want it to be cured, her life and my relationship with her are important, significant, and worthy of attention. Life matters, and every human being’s life should be valued.

 
About the Author
Sarah Bearden Smith is a housewife, mother of three, and a woman of deep faith, who has lived in Texas all her life. Sarah’s childhood was anchored by her family’s faith and their participation in church activities. She was a gifted athlete and reached elite status in competitive gymnastics by the time she was thirteen years of age. Sarah was born and raised in the Houston area and remained there until her departure for the University of Texas at Austin, where she was a speech communications major, a varsity cheerleader, and a member of Tri Delta Sorority. Following graduation, she remained in Austin, working in the soft ware and high-tech industry. After her marriage to Thad Smith in 2002, the couple moved to Dallas, Texas. Through their years in Dallas, Sarah and her husband have served on various boards and committees, including the Greer Garson Gala, the Presbyterian Hospital Healthcare Foundation, East-West Ministries, AWARE Dallas, and the Providence Christian School of Texas. They actively serve with their children in assisted living and memory care facilities and support organizations such as Council for Life, the Alzheimer’s Association, the Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement, and Community Bible Study. Sarah and her family are members of Watermark Community Church.

Follow Sarah’s journey on Facebook (Beauty in Alzheimer’s), on Instagram @beautyinalzheimers, or visit www.brokenbeautybook.com.

Purchase a copy of Broken Beauty on Amazon.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Meet Barbara Smith, author of "Still Giving Kisses"

Reposted with permission from AlzAuthors.com


By Barbara Smith
I am an occupational therapist, specializing in developmental disabilities. I had never planned to work in the area of geriatrics. But when my mother developed Alzheimer’s disease, I was thrust into the world of home care, Medicare, assisted living and nursing homes. I read numerous books and learned the lingo of lawyers, the health care bureaucracy and gerontology.

Fortunately, as an occupational therapist, I have years of experience adapting environments and creating activities to promote functional skills and quality of life. I wrote this book to share how I helped my mother enjoy her life as best as possible, as she regressed through the stages.

I could not help but notice that the residents in my mom’s assisted living and then her nursing home had few visitors. I believe that there are many reasons for this, but common ones are:

1. Friends and loved ones are scared and confused about the person’s decline

2. Friends and family do not know how to relate to a person who may no longer speak or seem to recognize them.

3. And most sadly, friends and family think that the person has so little awareness that their presence is of no value.

My primary goal in writing Still Giving Kisses: Helping and Enjoying the Alzheimer’s Victim You Love was to offer an alternative to the above situations. Like many others, I was in the “sandwich generation.” My son was a tween and teen during these years and had many developmental and social challenges related to autism. The time crunch from work and family obligations naturally made spending time with my mom difficult–as I’m sure is true for millions of other caregivers. However, when loved ones learn how to help and actually enjoy being with this person, the relationship takes on a beautiful and mutually beneficial meaning. Given the right information and support, family and friends can learn how to spend quality time with a loved one that will create positive memories.

The title of this book reflects one of the few remaining motor acts my mother was able to perform during the last few months of her life. When she was no longer speaking, non-ambulatory and unable to eat independently, she was still able to pucker up her lips to communicate “I love you, come over for my kiss.” This was a highly significant motor act, one that symbolizes a continuing connectedness between myself and the Alzheimer’s victim I loved.

There are many books on the market that describe the symptoms and stages of Alzheimer’s disease and behavioral interventions that promote function. Often this information is dry and overwhelming. There are also many highly readable memoirs that give the spouse, adult-children or the victim’s point of view. In writing, Still Giving Kisses, I strove to provide both.

You will read a compelling memoir of a woman whose earlier mental health problems compounded the many challenges of memory impairment. The many therapeutic techniques, adaptations and teaching tools I share are all tricks of the occupational therapy trade, along with my own unique touch. Extensive resources and medical, legal and care-giving information provide survival tools.

Although I wrote this book primarily for friends and family of Alzheimer’s victims, Still Giving Kisses provides a framework for health care professionals entering the field of geriatrics. Indeed, I wish this resource had been available when my mother began showing the earliest symptoms. I hope that my book helps you to enjoy a journey that nobody chooses to take . . .

About the Author
Barbara Smith is an occupational therapist specializing in developmental disabilities. She discovered a penchant for creating highly effective therapeutic activities out of household materials such as detergent bottles, cardboard boxes and newspapers. Her book The Recycling Occupational Therapist describes how to fabricate and use these activities.

Barbara’s second book From Rattles to Writing: A Parent’s Guide to Hand Skills (published by Therapro, Inc. 2011) is written for parents with typically developing children from ages birth through five years to help develop the skills needed to read and write. In addition, the activity adaptations make learning easier for children with sensory, motor or sensory challenges.

From Flapping to Function: A Parent’s Guide to Autism and Hand Skills is written for parents of children who have or they suspect may have an autism spectrum disorder. Readers will learn how autism impacts the development of hand skills and to use the teaching strategies and adaptations that help children reach their potentials to perform everyday functional activities and academic skills in school.

Please visit the following links for information on resources including my books, courses, educational videos and social media.

Buy the book: Amazon

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Meet Michelle Spray, author of "Lost Memories, Found Hope"

Published with permission from AlzAuthors.com


By Michelle Spray

I truly feel honored to be included as an integral part of the AlzAuthors group. Not only have I written a book that will make my grandmother proud, I have lived the caregiving experience one hundred percent. I was Grandma’s primary caregiver for seven years and got my on-the-job training simply because I lived there. It was up to me. I learned how to cope, distract, exercise patience, and lean on hope to get through all the emotions of dementia and eventually an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I understand the stress that families are going through including worrying and grieving for the Grandma I knew even though she was still alive. The day she no longer recognized me is a moment that will forever be etched on my heart.

I didn’t want to write a sad book about Alzheimer’s because that had already been done, so I used the opportunity to write a fictional story based on Grandma’s Alzheimer’s. I included the funny things she’d say, or how sometimes, even in the midst of it all, she would have a quick reply or joke, that always took me by surprise. At the end of the day, it would be these funny moments that helped me through all times I felt like crying; waiting for the mailman who already came, having her accuse me of stealing her teeth, telling me that the golden years weren’t really golden but instead a little rusty. When I’d ask her how she was feeling, she would tap the table and say, “with my hands”. Oh, how I miss her.

An important thing to note during the book is that I (or Jillian, the granddaughter in this novella) tried to do it all myself until I almost broke. So one thing I can’t stress enough to caregivers is to get help early. Take help when offered, ask for help, set appointments for someone else to take over so you can have a break and leave the house without worrying. Even small moments of respite can do wonders. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you incapable, it can only help you be a better caregiver.

All of my reviewers agree that Grandma would be proud of the work I’ve done with this book, bringing her story and memories to life. The overall consensus is that I’ve been able to reflect hope out of difficult moments while always remaining true to Grandma’s personality, love, and feistiness. She was a true pillar in my life. I stepped up when she needed me without question just as she had done for me. For that, I am truly grateful and proud.

Lost Memories, Found Hope is dedicated to all those in the thick of their own Alzheimer’s journey. Stay hopeful, ask for help, and keep a journal which may very well be the next AlzAuthors book to help end the stigma of Alzheimer’s.



Michelle Spray is an additional needs mom living in Connecticut. She’s proud to supply an underlying theme of hope and inspiration in all of her books.

Connect with Michelle on:

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