Meet Trish Laub, author of "A Most Meaningful Life"

By Trish Laub

I made a promise to myself that reflected the love of a youngest daughter for the dad that was always there for her. I was told that my dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2002. My mom didn’t tell my two sisters and me for several years. She was trying to protect us and protect her husband and best friend to whom she was married for 69 years. When I finally learned that dad was living with Alzheimer’s, I vowed to maintain his dignity, quality of life and safety until the end. I always knew that I wanted to take care of my parents should they ever need it, but the Alzheimer’s diagnosis added an unanticipated complexity. Just 48 hours after my husband and I moved across the country to be near my parents, my father experienced a medical crisis, setting into motion a two and one-half year journey of care during which my mom was diagnosed with stage-four cancer. I managed the care team and my parents’ medical care, and was a hands-on caregiver on the weekly schedule. My sisters and I delivered the dignified care and end of life our parents desired.

After both of my parents passed in 2014, I was exhausted. At first I needed some time to re-energize and regroup.  Although I had many requests and much encouragement to write about my experience, for the next three years I tried to talk myself out of doing it. I knew that I had amassed an abundance of knowledge from my experience and could help others go through the process thriving instead of surviving. During that time, I was presented more opportunities to both provide care and to teach others how to care for their loved ones. In the end, I could not make myself walk away from the personal mandate to write the books and offer the services that so many caregivers need.

The result was the Comfort in their Journey three-book series that I wish had been available to me during my journey. Rather than narratives, the books weave my story into the quickly accessed nuts-and-bolts caregiving information, tips and resources. The books offer caregivers the opportunity to thrive throughout a process that is often traumatic and stressful and allows little time to research before making critical decisions. The books enable family members and other caregivers the opportunity to know the options and to make informed decisions -- to think and then to take action.

A Most Meaningful Life, my dad and Alzheimer’s is the story of my family’s commitment to ensure a life of quality, dignity and potential for my dad. It was written to replace the unfounded stigma around Alzheimer’s with facts and an understanding of the disease, and to help others see that even with Alzheimer’s, the possibilities are limitless and a meaningful life is possible. Additionally, this book offers my family’s philosophy, goal and strategy; our successes and failures; and special considerations necessary for successful caregiving.

Understanding the nuances of providing dignified care, and the necessary preparation for and process of the end of life  is important for all caregivers, it is even more so for those caring for a loved one living with dementia as their loved one’s ability to self-advocate is diminished over the course of the disease.

A Most Meaningful Life provides a guide to dementia care. The other two books in the series provide guidance for caregivers and for individuals who are facing a life-limiting or life-altering medical condition. Those books are Through the Rabbit Hole, navigating the maze of providing care - a quick guide to care options and decisions, and Peaceful Endings, guiding the walk to the end of life and beyond – steps to take before and after.

I have found peace knowing that sharing my experience is helping others thrive on their caregiving journey. Readers have found comfort in having these guides to create a plan for providing dignified care, for carrying out a loved one’s end of life wishes, and in having easily accessible answers to the many questions that may arise during the journey. Most important to me has been feedback from readers who say that A Most Meaningful Life has helped to allay their fears and dispel the stigma regarding Alzheimer’s, allowing them to understand the possibilities and empowering them to be more present and successful caregivers.

Below are the links to my social media:

Website:  wwwTrishLaub.com.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thumenanskylaub

                 https://www.facebook.com/
                 TrishLaubComfortInTheirJourney

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/trish-humenansky-laub-8ba37311/

Twitter:        TrishLaubAuthor

Instagram:         TrishLaubAuthor

Meet Judith Allen Shone author of "Is There Any Ice Cream?"

By Judith Shone

Is There Any Ice Cream?

“I believe it was overcoming the fears that gave me the strength and wisdom to recognize I would be ‘strong enough’ to be a caregiver. I was not trained, but I evolved.”

My Love and I sat in his hospital room, celebrating our twenty-fourth anniversary, playing Go-Fish. Each other’s third partner, we had begun growing old gracefully together. And then our lives were turned topsy-turvy when My Love was diagnosed with COPD, Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, and anxiety attacks, colon cancer and, most recently, elevated calcium, all within four years.

I never asked, What if My Love becomes ill and I, alone, have to become the one to take care of him as his solo caregiver...not in my seventies- not when we were beginning to enjoy retirement!
But that is exactly what happened.

A tenderly written memoir, Is There Any Ice Cream? is a collection of stories of an overwhelmed caregiver who shares the demands and chaos, the joys and despair of the caregiving world. Those who want to learn of a caregiver’s life will accompany My Love and me by way of stories that reveal how heartbreaking, and yet how ultimately beautiful, one caregiving life can be.

Since publication of Is There Any Ice Cream? many people who had no idea what a life of caregiving might be like have offered comments of astonishment that our story could be told with both heartwarming insight and gentle humor. Their disbelief convinced me these stories were an eye-opener for some and that the caregiving life had to be unveiled. I realized those who wanted to learn needed references that reflected the devastating effects of memory loss, but from an emotional, experiencial approach.

One friend asked if I had written a love story. I did not think so at the outset, but as I re-read my journey chapters, they suggested an answer. I found a story of love: a love for My Love, for those who surrounded us, and a love for humanity. It is hard to think of this story without being filled with the love shared with My Love and me by so many people.

Known for changing attitudes, reducing sadness and bringing smiles to faces of "children of all ages," ice cream is more than a response to a craving. It has been reported to alter moods and shift attention in some with memory loss. Thus, the craving for ice cream became an important part of the story of My Love, not just a title reference.

Now, almost eight years in, I have learned two things:
(1) caregiving brings out the heart and soul of one’s life;
(2) caregivers do not have to be alone and without support.

By experiencing intimate moments, by becoming aware and witnessing our unique life together, readers will begin to appreciate the need for encouragement. I hope it will be through understanding a caregiver’s life, by recognizing the special needs and familiar emotions, that stigmas associated with dementia will be erased and future advocates will feel comfortable in offering support to someone they know.

This book will be followed by Part Two, Did You Hide the Cookies? in 2020.

BIO:

Judith Allen Shone unexpectedly became a caregiver, a

commitment she fulfills to this day. Her story reveals reflective moments as  she, alone, cared for her loved one with Alzheimer’s and other illnesses. Using creative ingenuity, as well as an initiative born out of a need to share experiences with others, she was compelled to unveil the role of caregiver for those who wanted to learn.

Shone graduated with a BA in Art from Colorado State University in 1965. Before being a caregiver, this former website designer, writer and art teacher spent over forty-two years in sales, advertising and marketing for exhibit firms and the corporate world in the US and Canada.

She has two grown children, two grandchildren and currently lives with her love and their little dog in Ontario, Canada.

VISIT:
The book website: https://www.CaregiverAlzheimerStory.com
Twitter: Judith Allen Shone @CaregiverStory
Instagram: caregiverstory Judith Allen Shone Author Alz
Facebook: Judith Allen Shone - author
Goodreads: Judith Allen Shone
Blog: Accepting the Gift of Caregiving, https://acceptingthegiftofcaregiving.blogspot.com 
Email: info@CaregiverAlzheimerStory.com

Susan G. Miller, a spouse caring for her husband with Early Onset, writes My Life Rearranged

Please read this week's AlzAuthors post by Susan G. Miller. She writes a moving book about caregiving for her husband with early-onset Alzheimer's in  her memoir "My Life Rearranged."

Susan writes:

"When my husband passed, I took a hiatus from both writing and Alzheimer’s. Later on, at the urging of friends and family, and especially my granddaughter, who called it “my purpose,” I returned to writing. I knew I wanted to achieve three things. First, I wanted to support caregivers who are often forgotten, who are the second or silent victims, and who can become isolated by the nature and duration of the disease. As a part of that support, I wanted to give voice to what many givers can’t or are afraid or say."

Read the entire post here.

New Children's Book by Mary Edwards-Olson; Grandpa, Is That You?

I'm so happy to share this new children's book by Mary Edwards-Olson featured on AlzAuthors.com this week, Grandpa, Is that You? 

Mary writes: 

"My newest book, Grandpa, Is That You?, is another children’s book about the changes a loved one will go through when facing Alzheimer’s. This book differs from my first book, When The Sun Shines Through, in that instead of focusing on the good moments that shine through, it encourages the reader to continue to include their loved one in activities and social events no matter the changes that are taking effect. I find it so important to encourage children to ask questions, interact, and feel comfortable when Alzheimer’s becomes part of their loved one’s life."

Read the entire post here.

Juliet Rix, "Travels With My Granny"

This week AlzAuthors.com welcome Juliet Rix, with her new book, Travels With My Granny. 

Juliet writes: 

"Granny is a great traveller. These days her legs won’t carry her much further than the door, but she still travels and sometimes she takes her grandchild with her. The grown-ups think Granny is confused and doesn’t know where she is, Grandchild thinks differently: Granny knows exactly where she is, it just isn’t where the grown-ups are."

Read the entire post here.

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Meet Cassandra Farren, author of "I've Lost My Mum"

Shared with permission from AlzAuthors.com

By Cassandra Farren

Dementia is soul-destroying. Not only for the person who is diagnosed, but for anyone who loves and cares about them. I have been told many times that I have coped surprisingly well since my mum’s diagnosis in November 2014. But I am human. I still have moments when I sob over the awful injustice of watching the strong woman I once knew fade into a distant stranger I no longer recognise.

I am still experiencing the harrowing and lonely journey which has the potential to rip your world to pieces. Last year I was at breaking point when everything got too much, and I had to take my mum to live in a permanent care home. Having received very little support, I have had to find my own way. There have been countless times when I have felt afraid and scared.

Somehow, I have found the strength to share our journey in my new book, I’ve Lost My Mum.  I have bared my soul as I do not want another family to feel isolated and alone on this horrific journey.

I have lost count of the number of tears I have cried whilst writing my book. I had to relive my heartbreak over and over again. There were moments when I questioned ‘Why am I writing this book?’ but I held onto the thought that our story could make a difference to someone who needs to get through the next hour or the next day.

I believe my book can help to end the stigma that surrounds dementia by creating meaningful conversations that bring lasting change. The condition is often misunderstood so my intention was to openly share the truth of loving someone who is lost between worlds.

Publishing my book has definitely helped me to heal and I feel at peace with what I have written. It has been very cathartic, especially since receiving such a huge amount of support from my readers.

“This is a wonderful and honest insight to coping with dementia. Fantastic story couldn’t stop reading.”

“Well written and full of emotion, I defy anyone to read this book and not be moved”

“I truly believe that this book could be someone’s lifeline”

Carers have thanked me for being their voice, friends of dementia sufferers have thanked me for sharing insights into how they can offer support, and health care professionals are now reading my book as part of their training.

My mum was always a huge supporter of my work. Mum would often say to me, “If you can do something that will help just one person, then I think you should do it.”

So, that is why I have written I’ve Lost My Mum.

Cassandra Farren is the author of four books and the mother of two amazing boys. She mentors heart-led authors and has recently  been commissioned to write books as a soul-writer. When she’s not mentoring authors or writing life-changing books, Cassandra can often be found relaxing by a beautiful lake or having a dance party in her kitchen.

Social media links

Twitter: @cassandrafarren

Facebook/ cassandrafarren1

Website: www.cassandrafarren.com

Meet Senia Owensby, author of "Finishing Well: Finding the Joy in Dementia"

Reposted with permission from AlzAuthors.com

By Senia Owensby

Dementia was not even on our radar. When my sister and I found ourselves devoting extra time and energy into caring for Mama and Daddy, we simply assumed that their diminishing abilities were a natural part of the aging process. Symptoms were easy to excuse and explain away. Resistance to taking medicine was perceived as non-compliance, not forgetfulness. Failure to tell us what the doctor had said was perceived as unwillingness, not forgetfulness. Reluctance to eat was perceived as a lack of appetite, not forgetfulness.

Dementia didn’t begin with a bang or a diagnosis from a doctor. It didn’t announce itself and take over. At first it seemed that something was simply odd or out of place, but as time went on, we began to put it all together: medicine not taken, meals neither prepared nor eaten, no letters written or crossword puzzles started.

Bits and pieces of activities from everyday routine gradually disappeared. Dementia had snuck in quietly and stolen away parts of Mama’s life – her memories and abilities.

When my Dad passed away in 2005, we took over the full responsibility of caring for Mama. By then, we had a better idea of the gravity of her situation.

Since we had not traveled this path before, we didn’t have any roadmaps to guide us. Resources, other than health journals full of medical jargon did not offer much help.

We made a decision that no matter how this all played out, we would make every effort to help Mama experience as much quality of life as possible. That resolution launched us into a decade-long journey to help Mama ‘Finish well’ while searching for joy in dementia.

We stayed busy. We sang, went to church, ate at restaurants, attended concerts, watched her favorite musicals, played two-square with my exercise ball, took walks, watched yellow finches flit and fight at birds feeders, enjoyed water activities, went for long car rides – anything that she felt up to doing and enjoyed.

Mama’s decline into dementia was a long journey filled with both challenges and joys. Over the next several years, we found ourselves sharing ‘Mama Stories’ with others who found themselves in the same situation.

Over time, we realized that others walking along the same path could benefit from our experiences. We collected a number of stories and distilled them into short, easy-to-read chapters on our new lifestyle with Mama - along with our philosophy of joy. The purpose of Finishing Well: Finding the Joy in Dementiais to provide hope for fellow caregivers. Amazon was a perfect method for publishing, and we were delighted at the response we received.

In addition to the book, I launched a blog: finishingwellinlife.comin my never-ending quest to help caregivers as well as share ideas on how to prevent dementia.

About the Author

Senia Owensby has always loved to write. Her passion for writing has produced a broad variety of literature, including short stories, several children’s books and an assortment of articles for numerous publications.

Senia is a Certified Life Coach who lives in a small cottage in North Carolina. She’s married to the love of her life, and is also a mother and grandmother. Since retiring, she spends her time both writing and working in her garden.

Blog – finishingwellinlife.com

Facebook – Finishing Well for Caregivers

twitter.com/finishingwelli1

instagram.com/finishwell